It’s that time of year when we try to show the people in our lives how much they mean to us by buying them gifts we think they would like. Normally that would have a great feeling associated with it, but for some, it is a stressful time of the year. As much as they love their family, and are thankful for their friends, and want to let them know how much they mean to them, the thought of spending money they just don’t have is a great source of stress.

I feel for these people because I have been there myself. Living month to month, paycheck to paycheck does not work when large unplanned expenses come up, and if you are a late gift getter like me, the Christmas season comes up faster than we ever plan. When this would happen, I would find myself wondering which bill I can put off in order to afford the gifts I wanted to buy, or checking to see which credit card was not maxed out.

But that was when I was broke. Things are different for me now. Now I can think of the gift I want to send someone, find it, buy it, and send it. All without checking my bank balance because I know I have enough. And no credit card required because I’ve learned to live within my means. No more paying off last year’s Christmas gifts this year for me.

I wish I could say this was my key motivation for wanting to get out of debt and save for a rainy day, but the truth is it never crossed my mind. Yes there, I admit it. When it came to saving, it was all about me, me, and me. But I am happy to see a side effect of saving has been to create a situation where I can gladly get gifts for those in my life who mean a lot to me and who I want to let know I’m thinking of them.

If you are currently closer to my former self and the gift-giving season is a source of stress for you, take comfort in that old saying that it is the thought that counts. This may not work as well for younger gift receivers, they want what they want (don’t worry they will understand in time), but for our adult friends and family members normally it does. I know Dave Ramsey has a scorched earth policy of no gift-giving until all debts are paid off, but I guess this is another area I disagree with him on. Going the five to ten years required to pay off all of your debts without sending anyone in your life a gift might lead others to believe you just don’t care about them, and once such feelings are created they are hard to reverse. Even a nice Christmas card with a $25 gift card to someone’s favorite store will at least let them know you thought of them during the holiday season, and for most people that is enough. That is a small price to pay to maintain healthy relationships in your life. And maybe, for now, you have to limit it to your immediate family and have to hold off on including friends and others on your gift-givers list, but it’s only for a time and in a few years when all your debts are paid off, it will feel so good to get to include them too.

So, don’t worry. Be merry. As in Merry Christmas. Be honest with yourself about how much you can wisely afford to spend this Christmas gift-giving season, and then put together a list of the people you know you need to include on your list, like your spouse and children, and get each the best gift you can afford to give this year, and if you have a little left over, gift cards and boxes of chocolates for the rest. Before you know it your financial situation will improve, and you will enjoy seeing the amount you can afford to spend and the number of people on your list grow. And you will give yourself the best gift of all, the gift of giving itself.